Sandra Bernhard, the outspoken comedian and actor, recently opened up about her past friendship with Madonna and how their once close bond eventually faded. Speaking candidly on Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s Dinner’s On Me podcast, she shared her thoughts on the iconic singer and their memorable moments together, as well as the reasons behind their separation.
Bernhard and Madonna’s friendship
In the late 1980s, Sandra Bernhard and Madonna‘s friendship was the talk of the town. The pair’s camaraderie reached a peak in 1988, when they appeared together on Late Night with David Letterman (1982-93), dressed in identical outfits, showcasing their close connection and similar sense of style. This appearance solidified their status as one of the most talked-about duos of the era.
Bernhard reminisced about this period during her conversation with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, reflecting on both the excitement and freshness of that time. When asked if she’d be “fine” if they reunited, the actor replied, “It would be fine, but I mean, I don’t know what it would be.”
‘The perfect time’
Sandra Bernhard continued, “And I hate getting nostalgic and caught up in that time because it was such like, the perfect time. The late ’80s when I was doing my one-woman show here in New York, and I was friends with her and doing Letterman all the time. I mean, everything was… so fresh.”
The pair’s public appearances and mutual support for each other’s careers were emblematic of a deep and genuine friendship. However, over time, their sightings together became less frequent, and their once-vibrant relationship quietly faded away.
Why did Madonna and Sandra Bernhard drift apart?
Sandra Bernhard has previously touched upon the reasons for her and Madonna drifting apart. She shared that the intense visibility and constant public scrutiny of their friendship became too much to handle.
“Certainly, for me, I learned that I didn’t really like that level of visibility and, you know, having to work it constantly,” she confessed on the Hot Takes & Deep Dives podcast. “We all, as performers, work it to a certain degree, but I’m a very improvisational person, onstage and in my life, and I don’t like being tied down in having to be a certain way for my image.
“Therefore, I continued to evolve as a person and a personality.”
Sandra Bernhard valued Madonna’s friendship
Sandra Bernhard further explained that, while she valued their friendship and tried to be a genuine friend, Madonna’s nature made it challenging to maintain such a relationship.
“I think, what I tried to impart in our friendship is, ‘I’m really your friend, I’m not just somebody that’s passing through.’ And I guess for a while we had a real friendship, but it’s hard for somebody like [Madonna],” the actor answered. “She doesn’t really want somebody around who reflects too much of who she is. Therefore, her relationships just don’t last.”
A sad reflection on a former friendship
Reflecting on the end of their friendship, Sandra Bernhard admitted it saddened her that she and Madonna couldn’t maintain their bond, as she’d cherished their relationship and how close they’d become.
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“There are times when I’m like, that really makes me sad, you know, that we couldn’t maintain our friendship. I mean, I could have,” she revealed.